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A letter we received on ADHD (via email - name supplied)
Dear Sirs
I've just read your item about ADHD. I've been working in Learning Support at a college that takes special needs as well as mainstream students, and many students I've worked with since 1998 have been diagnosed as having ADHD. However, my experience leads me to believe otherwise. Many of these students have a major issue with a lack of boundaries, which were not set when they were young. Around half the students with an ADHD diagnosis, that I have talked to, told me that their parents allowed them to do pretty much as they pleased as small children. Comments as "letting me find my own way", "they said I'll learn by experience" and "they never bothered with me/us" are commonplace. It seems that this lack of setting boundaries has taught them that they can do what ever they like without any consequences, this is a dangerous message to give young people as it sets them up to fail in later life.
I also work for my local Youth Service in a centre in what according to my MP is one of the 10 most deprived wards in the UK. The issues I referred to are considerably more prevalent than they are at the college as a whole. Most of the students with these issues I work with come from this area or other deprived parts of town. I've also noticed that as many as half of these students come from broken homes or single parent families. Yet more reasons why boundaries aren't set at the right time in their lives.
It's also worth noting that it is actually infinitely more cruel to allow a child to injure themselves doing something where they don't recognise the danger, than to give them a sharp tap on the arm or leg to say no and set a potentially lifesaving boundary. I'm no advocate of beating a child just for the sake of it, I grew up with that unacceptable attitude, but failing to set boundaries for children, especially in the early years (before 4 years old), does cause long term damage to their lives.
Yours sincerely,
Terry B. BA(Hons)
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